attachment is not a problem

First off, lets unpack the term attachment. In other words I want to investigate the term attachment in a clean open way, “what is attachment?” as if we are looking at this term for the first time. My mind has been drawn to this “unpacking” movement since it seemed to “unravel” as a result of the direct experiential recognition of what the terms nonduality and enlightenment point to. I could say that the direct realization of nonduality (as who I am) was like a deep unpacking of the idea of an individual separate self. Since the “seeing through” of the entire belief package of separation there has been a movement to look at many other heavy terms with “fresh eyes”. We use the term attachment pervasively and at times aggressively along the path of spiritual seeking. It often carries negative connotations and is seen as an obstacle to realizing nonduality; what/who we really are. There can be an intellectual understanding that what we are is ultimately beyond individual identifications and free of attachment or rather has no attachment to the appearances of life. It’s a natural process for the mind to try to imitate what it believes it is looking for. So the mind believes it is seeking a state of nonattachment, it believes that ultimate freedom (enlightenment, nirvana, nonduality, etc) is a state of consciousness that is free of attachment. This is tricky because the mind creates an image of nonattachment and starts to actually desire this image. In others words there is a desire not to have desire. So the mind pretends to imitate whatever it imagines nonattachment looks like, examples may include “I don’t need material things…I don’t need relationships…I am free from frustration…I don’t need much food,” basic asceticism behaviors. This is simply an attachment to not having attachments!

So what is attachment really? Seems to be a desire to obtain something or someone and hold onto it/them. A desire to have. A desire to be. We may obtain a material object such as a car and become attached to this item. We want the comfort this item brings with the luxury of transportation and a nice environment to drive around in. It may also become a part of who we are, an identification, “I am a Mercedes owner”. Attachment to a person may seem more complicated. I love my husband, I need my husband for survival, I need my husband for a certain identification. Perhaps I don’t know who I am without my husband, he gives me a reference point. Ever heard someone say, I can’t remember what I was like before I met that person? It seems that attachment is a felt sense of needing something or someone for a sense of self and sense of comfort in life. Without it I may not know who I am and without it I would not be as comfortable in my situation. But what is required for attachment to exist? At the most basic level, attachment requires self (who owns the attachment) and other (object: person or thing the self is attached to). Fundamentally, attachment is the appearance of an individual person who seems to need or desire something that appears separate. I am a person who desires an object that is distinct from who I am. Yet the object also seems to give the person a felt sense of who they are. Fundamentally, attachment is a type of relating. Relationships also require the appearance of self-other. Attachment is the appearance of a relationship that has the movement of holding close and even merging with.

So it’s really silly to go around using a term like attachment without actually taking a good clean look at it, without unpacking it or inquiring into it. This is the wisdom component of spiritual enlightenment. Wisdom is an open inquiry, often into beliefs that have been guiding a lifetime, beliefs that have actually been structuring all of existence. Wisdom is unpacking until there is nothing left to uncover, nowhere left to go. When the movement of unpacking happens thoroughly and at the “deepest level” of self/other, no-thing remains or rather nonduality is seen as all that remains.

Attachment is based on a belief that I am a separate person and there are objects outside of who I am that I want, desire, need. I seem to be relating to objects in an attached way, I am holding certain objects close. I seem to desire the appearance of a bond or connection between myself and certain objects. When the fundamental belief structures of duality are fully unpacked, it is seen that the forms of life are simply appearing. Separation is simply forms appearing to relate to each other. Attachment is a type of relating that has a bonding or connecting appearance. Attachment is a part of an appearance or the way an appearance is moving. Two forms appearing with the movement of attachment; the movement of coming together. From a nondual perspective, the movement of attachment is truly appearing and it is truly a part of temporary reality. All of duality appears “in time” as a temporary reality. Attachment is simply a movement “within” temporary reality (time) and it has absolutely nothing to do with recognizing that which cannot be temporary and is beyond the idea of time.

There seems to be an experience of pain when there is a belief that I need to do something to make the appearance of attachment harden or somehow change the temporary nature of things. It is impossible to stop movement. Life is simply movement appearing as time and direction. Attachment is fundamentally a form of movement that may appear as someone trying to stop the inevitable movement of life. It’s quite silly actually, when all these terms are unpacked, life itself is seen as simply movement. At its “core” life is movement and attachment is only possible (as an appearance) because of movement. Attachment would not even appear if movement stopped, nothing would appear since all appearance is movement. Yet attachment often indicates a desire to stop the movement of things! See how silly this is? Attachment is only possible because of movement but attachment often indicates a desire to stop movement; to stop the very nature of its own existence.

So from a nondual perspective, attachment is very real as a partial temporary appearance. There is an appearance of an individual separate form that has a distinguishable personality and character, and a unique life story. The appearance of a separate self allows for the appearance of distinct forms relating. The appearance of a separate form is not a problem to nonduality, and it doesn’t actually obstruct the direct experiential realization of nonduality. When we “get on” a path of letting go of attachments, we are simply believing in an absurd idea that attachments are somehow powerful appearances. Simply unpack seemingly powerful ideas and discover that everything is simply movement and there is no need to stop or try to control movement. Recognize that that does not move, that that is beyond movement and time, and the appearance of attachment is seen as simply another innocent and beautiful appearance.